Gaia Community: Jill's Blog

I AM A PROMISE; a practical guide to the soul's journey

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:02:46 GMT

I am a promise Jill GunturEMAIL

I am in the final stages to publishing my book. I am hoping by the end of September or the first of October at the latest!

It has been an incredible, mindful journey of honoring each step in front of me!

Tags: I am a Promise, Jill Guntur, Author, Book, Soul, Evolution, Guide

My Prayer for Barack Obama

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:03:58 GMT

To Learn more go to Jill Guntur's Website

Tags: Jill Guntur, Barack Obama, President Obama, Prayer Drawing, Sacred Artwork

My Online Art Store

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 00:19:42 GMT

Jill Guntur Astrologer writer artist

MY ONLINE STORE is open for business! Just visit my website

JillGuntur.com

Tags: prayer drawings, sacred art, Jill Guntur

What was the last thing you learned from a child?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 19:01:12 GMT

I had dinner with a three year old the other day. I've never pushed her to play with me. Just have always allowed her space to present herself in the fashion she is comfortable with. And so, she has circled me every time we meet. This time she asked me questions. She showed me some things. We ate. Just before she left she turned to her mother and said "I like the Jill". Her mother asked her why and she said "I see her". And then she marched out into the snow.

Great lesson. You simply show up and allow others to see you instead of present yourself to others as you think they should see you.... and it becomes purity and innocence wrapped in something wonderful.

Tags: QaR, learning, children, smaller, youth, wisdom

Do you pay much attention to what others think of you?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 14:18:59 GMT

There was a time in my life when the vast majority of my energy and focus went into a concern about what other people thought of me. I'm not sure that a great many people associate a hyper ego problem with people who are suffering low self esteem. But, that shoe fits. It is an all consuming relationship with the perceptions that you fear. It is ego based. And it invites a steady diet of suffering.

I think it is the reason the tenant of non-attachment is such a strong and powerful tool. It is not about being detached.... it is about being non-attached to the identification of things outside you that would define you and keep you from being present in the moment.

After a considerable amount of work and attention, I would say that I do not pay all that much attention to what others think of me. It is interesting to me when it comes up and those moments tend to be more associated with what I perceive to be a safety issue. (I care about what others think of my work, etc.)

Finding a pathway to let go of the fear that held me hostage most of my life was a stellar moment, and it doesn't end. The fear is gone. I feel free. I am enthralled with the moment I am living in. And..... I care very little what other people think of me.

Tags: QaR, perception, self-consciousness, care, others

What gets in the way of peace?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 12:46:18 GMT

Pure and Simple Ego displaces peace. I cannot find an example of when that is not the case. When we seek outside ourselves to define who we are or what we're valued at.... we disturb the peace. When we invite in fear.... we are no longer at peace.

I wrote this for my book, and it is too fitting to replicate, so I will simply quote myself. LOL

"I believe that peace is best held in the absence of fear. Not as a focused presence, but rather the necessary spaces in between things. Much like an indescribably beautiful symphony can only be held in rapture through the use of silence. The notes would have no impact if the silence between the notes didn't punctuate the possibilities. I do not believe that peace is the note. I believe it is the silence that allows the notes to be impactful. To be moving. And sacred. Peace is best held in the absence of the wretched noise of fear that disturbs our being. And if peace, is in fact, held through the absence of fear... it cannot be found. It cannot be conjured. Peace simply takes form when we boldly lay our fears to rest."

C) 2006 Jillianne Simpson

Tags: QaR, peace, world peace, harmony, challenge

How do spiritual and environmental awareness relate?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 17:17:33 GMT

Have been having this conversation a lot lately. I was brought up to believe there is no difference. We are of the Earth and Stewards of the Earth. To be unconcerned for the environment that we live in and live with is to dishonor the life that runs through all of us.

Just last month Omega broke ground for it's Center for Sustainable Living. The Center itself will have zero carbon impact and will provide our community and schools with the opportunity to watch a living waste water treatment center offer new life without stripping the environment. I just feel really proud to be able to watch it unfold since it reflects things that are important to me. It is nice to see the spiritual commitment to growth be reflected in the physical attention to the care of our Earth.

"Inner to Outer" Omega's 30th Aniversary

Tags: QaR, spirituality, spirit, awareness, consciousness, environmental

What would you say to the person you were one year ago?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 15:55:49 GMT

What an awesome question. One year ago I had just broken through to the most incredible emotional/spiritual place I'd yet experienced. A loss of fear and a sense of unending, unconditional love. In that place, I also found a hope and a desire to manifest my soul's great mate.

around this time I surrendered that wish and simply felt the trust and the love of the Divine. I opened myself up to receive.

On December 23rd I first connected with the amazing man I will be marrying on this coming December 23rd.

So, I would tell the person I was one year ago..... "Faith Manages"!!!!!!!!!!

Tags: QaR, past, self, lessons, advice

MALALAI JOYA and Personal Conviction

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 02:30:45 GMT

I've been asked many times over the years which three people I would invite to supper if I could speak with anyone living or dead. My answer has always been the same, but I find myself expanding the party a little bit these days.

I have always named Harriett Tubman and Corrie Ten Boom and Joan of Arc. Three people who stepped forward with a conviction stronger than their fear of death.

Harriett Tubman was safely in the North and returned to danger that exceeds understanding... because no human being should be held captive.

Corrie Ten Boom and her family hid families and were very active in the underground railroad in Amsterdam. She was eventually imprisoned with her sister (her father died in transit and her sister died while in the concentration camp). She knew that hiding Jews could cost her family everything, including life.... But her conviction to the dignity and rights of all human beings exceeded her concern over death or loss.

Joan of Arc held a conviction that she was to free her homeland from a state of terieny from the English hold on France. She believed that message came from God and she knew her life was forfeit if she followed what she felt led to do. And yet... she sacrificed her life for her country.

In more recent times I find that I have as many heroic symbols. My heart aches sometimes with the strength, courage and conviction present in our fellow human beings.

Immacculee Ilibagiza wrote a book called "Left to Tell". It is the most incredible journey of a very young woman surviving the unending slaughter in Rwanda. With nearly all her family dead and any illusions to the safety of this world of ours shattered, she emerged from the bathroom she'd hidden in for 90 days with seven other women WITH MORE HOPE. Hope and Forgiveness are threaded in her message. It reminded me of Corrie Ten Boom.

Malalai Joya reminds me a little of the conviction of Joan of Arc coupled with the sheer Chutzpa of Harriet Tubman. Joya is a YOUNG 28 year old woman from Afghanistan. She is probably the most famous Afghan woman. She was suspended from her appointment on the Afghan Parliament for calling into question the ethics of other members..... in particular the drug czars and warlords that govern and influence the parliament. Her life became endangered. Prior to this, she was an outspoken opponent to the Taliban when they were in power. She's survived four assassination attempts. She had said this:

"Never again will I whisper in the shadows of intimidation. I am but a symbol of my people's struggle and a servant to their cause. And if I were to be killed for what I believe in, then let my blood be the beacon for emancipation and my words a revolutionary paradigm for generations to come."

This past year, this is what she has had to say:

"They will kill me but they will not kill my voice because it will be the voice of all Afghan women. You can cut the flower, but you cannot stop the coming of Spring."

I stand in awe of the conviction and integrity of people who are able and willing to do the hard work. To hold to what they believe - in the face of death. How many of us are willing to stand by our convictions when they prove inconvenient. Forget about deadly... just inconvenient?

What do you value that you wish to honor with a greater voice or with actions that are in alignment with those values?

HEY FOLKS.... after posting this blog I received a message from someone and I wanted to update and post it here for you. I am jazzed that this film will be shown and want to invite others to join me in watching on the 11th. Here was her message:

Hi Jill,

I thought you might want to know about an extraordinary doc on Malalai Joya that is airing next week on the PBS series WIDE ANGLE. I'm providing details below, please tune in and forward widely!!

A WOMAN AMONG WARLORDS, a program based on Eva Mulvad's award-winning documentary, ENEMIES OF HAPPINESS, follows outspoken Afghani women's rights activist Malalai Joya during the final weeks of her riveting campaign for a seat in the newly formed democratic parliament of Afghanistan.

Women Make Movies is proud to be distributing ENEMIES OF HAPPINESS and we invite you to tune in on September 11th for the national broadcast premiere of A WOMAN AMONG WARLORDS on the acclaimed PBS series WIDE ANGLE!

We'd also like to ask for your help in spreading the word about Malalai Joya's remarkable story!

Here's how you can help:

» Tune in to the broadcast premiere on PBS, Sept 11th at 9pm
(check local listings).
» Forward the announcement below to your colleagues and friends.
» Post a link to the announcement on your website or blog.
[Link to: http://www.wmm.com/enemiesofhappiness/]
» Forward this e-mail to other discussion groups or listservs.

» Learn more about the film: http://www.wmm.com/filmcatalog/pages/c702.shtml
» Learn more about Malalai Joya: http://www.malalaijoya.com/index1024.htm

With the broadcast approaching so quickly, we're doing all we can to solicit support from as many diverse constituencies as possible. Thank you so much in advance for your attention to this request!

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or suggestions.

Sincerely,

Sarah Reynolds
Educational Sales & Marketing Coordinator WOMEN MAKE MOVIES

462 Broadway, Suite 500
New York, NY 10013
tel 212.925.0606 ext. 312 | fax 212.925.2052 sr@wmm.com | www.wmm.com

Tags: freedom, accountability, women, Afghanistan

What values shape your life?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 10:59:07 GMT

I was raised in a culture that held respect as the core value all others sprang from. It is the vital ingredient to me and how I choose to wrap my life. Accountability runs in for a quick second. Integrity. I work at a place dedicated to offering an evolution and growth of the whole person. When I see people steep themselves in respect (for self, others, planet) and stand in a place of integrity and accountability, I am in awe of what comes out of it. The extension of love and peace that lives in those places. When I see someone use all the "right words" and talk a good game, but they are not holding themselves accountable or with an integrity and certainly not threading respect through their words and deeds..... well, it becomes the walking wounded doing a good sales job.

Tags: QaR, values, life

What is your recipe for world peace?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 01:21:23 GMT

Accountability. Until we learn to hold ourselves accountable to our growth, our behavior and our sense of freedom, we will continue to project onto other people, nations, groups, religions. It starts inside and it can't flourish without each individual being accountable and being held accountable.

Tags: QaR, peace, world peace

If you lived a thousand years ago, what job would you have had?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 19:15:46 GMT

When I was very small I was asked what job I would take when I grew up. I said I was suppose to love. I haven't changed much.
I imagine if I was born a thousand years ago, that essential ingredient in me that feels nourished in interacting within a community and fed when I am able to soothe others would be doing the same thing.

Tags: QaR, work, job, past

WHAT IS YOGA?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 16:32:59 GMT

Yoga is a rich and beautiful path that offers the opportunity to live a more fully conscious life. Despite modern marketing... it is not a form of exercise. Yoga is a pathway to living, growing, evolving. The guidance behind the philosophy of yoga is more fully fleshed out in the Bhagavad Gita.

These are often called the Yoga Sutras. Yogic truths. Utilizing all of the yoga sutras becomes "Ashtanga" yoga. And that is best described in what is known as the "EIGHT LIMBS" of yoga.

For those that thought Yoga was breathing and bending.... That is like saying that Marriage is held in the "I DO". It is a small facet of a bigger devotion. Yoga positions and breathing are a small facet of the practice of yoga. Furthermore... inside of the eight limbs... the first two hold five guides each. Kind of like the beginning instructions to carry out the rest of the six limbs.

Without further ado.... The Eight Limbs of Yoga:

Yama: Internal Moral Discipline The five guides to this are:

Ahimsa - to practice non-violence in thought, action and deed.

Satya - Truthfulness. The capacity to stand naked and honor.

Asteya - Non-stealing. Right use of things.

Brahmacharya - Moderation in all things. Self-containment.

Aparighraha - Non-possessiveness. Simplicity.

Niyamas: External. Maintain a positive environment. The five guides:

Shaucha - Purity/Clarity. Orderliness of thoughts and environment.

Santosha - Contentment. Acceptance for what is.

Tapas - Austerity, sacrifice, discipline.

Swadhyaya - Self-improvement/learning. Spiritual development.

Ishwara-Pranidhana - Surrender to God.

Asana: Physical postures.

Pranayama: Increasing breathing and life force.

Pratyahara: Sensory inhibition.

Dharana: Intense focus needed for meditation.

Dyana: Meditation

Samadhi: Ecstasy. Union with the Divine.

The practice of yoga draws you deeper and deeper into an honest reflection of the divine within each being. And yet..... to not honor the first two legs of the eight legs will not lead to Samadhi. Surrender to the divine and ecstasy are hand in hand.

Service to the greater world is often times referred to as Karmic yoga. What a treasure. How beautiful to offer of self without recognition or need for such feedback. To simply offer because it is needed. May we all aspire to be Karmic Yoginis

Tags: Yoga, Growth, Life, Service, Accountability

One person can change the world

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 03:26:17 GMT

I used to write an annual newsletter (prior to blogging – which is an ongoing newsletter of sorts for me). I wrote this in my 2003 Newsletter. I continue to believe every single word. The only thing that has changed is the sheer hope I feel beginning to stir! This was called “There is a purpose to everything….”

Sometimes when I have a glimpse of the “bigger picture” I am humbled and awed at the threads that weave a greater tapestry.

In 1849 in Denmark, a man was born to a huge family that totaled 17 children. At the young age of 21 he immigrated to America. It was a time of hardship. He survived many years of extreme poverty in filthy, overcrowded conditions. His life and his prospects seemed mighty dim and he grew suicidal.

Slowly he pulled himself out of the pain of his surroundings. Eventually, he became a police reporter for a prominent NYC newspaper. The fortuitous invent of flash for pictures met the capable hands of this writer/photographer.

Rather than ignore what was an extremely painful time in his life, Jacob A. Riis wrote a book called “How the other half lives”. He documented both in picture and through his poignant writing, the demoralizing and inhumane conditions of the tenements in New York City at the turn of the century.

Coming home one day he discovered a calling card with the words “Came to help.” The card belonged to Theodore Roosevelt, who had read Jacob Riis’ book and was moved to act.

Roosevelt visited the decrepit tenements with his newfound friend. He was able to see the horrific conditions for himself. You need to stop a moment and understand the enormity of the challenge Riis and Roosevelt met. The tenements were truly horrors.

The worse of them had stalls set up which would sleep six per stall (the size of a queen sized bed). There was no ventilation, indoor plumbing, insulations, heat or bedding. Bottom floors received the sewage that ran off during rain.

Picture your life held to sleeping in wet muck and sewage next to strangers. As New York Assembly man, NYC Police Commissioner, Governor for NY State and finally U.S. President, Teddy Roosevelt worked to change these horrific conditions.

The willingness of Jacob Riis to rise above the adversity he had experienced and offer a voice of advocacy cheers me greatly. He had the choice to become embittered. He had the “justification” to allow the low points in his life dictate the man he would become and yet… he allowed the man he was dictate a better way of life for millions of people and their children, and the children that followed through another century.

Problems that we think are insurmountable aren’t. One simple person can change the course of the future! In case these words seem empty and overly optimistic… One man – Jacob Riss – spoke up with dignity and assurance that change needed to happen. One man – Teddy Roosevelt – heard him. The nation changed.

We live in times that beg us to change. Your voice matters. I believe there is someone to hear. All it requires of us is to sound the call and rise to the challenge.

A couple of days ago I said that we could change the world. We can! You can!

Tags: Change, Empower, Society, Responsibility, Compassion, Courage

I Promise

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 04:09:12 GMT

I have had this bookmark for over twenty years. Every other month or so, I pull it out and I reflect how truthful this still is for me:

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every livi8ng creature you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble." ~ Christian D. Larence

I pulled it out again tonight in honor of a phone call message I received this week. Someone that I've known for that twenty years. In fact, I bought this bookmark at a time when I was struggling to remember ever single promise. So, I've looked over the past twenty years. I'm amazed at where I am and how truly far I have come.

There was a time when I measured love against the willingness to stick with someone no matter how horrifying things became. There was something about the idea of proving a depth of love that was greater than the problems that came up. Thank God I left that behind a decade ago. That isn't love. It is dysfunction. It is the chaos of a wounded heart. It is the drama of the internally deadened. But it isn't love.

There was a time when I thought this bookmark meant to be stoic and without feeling. Thank God I left that meaning behind fifteen years ago. It simply means to me now that I am not the emotion that I feel. I no longer identify myself within the confines of an emotional reaction. Seems to invite less ego and more honesty to the moment. And when I am in the moment, I become so strong that nothing can disturb my peace.

Learning how to honor the positive saved my life. I can't believe it is the same life I had twenty years ago. I can't believe the effortless way I am able to hold boundaries and to talk about things.

This past year there was a time in which I allowed someone to dishonor who I am. It shook me. I pulled this bookmark out. I went back to some basics. I was graced with a boyfriend that also enjoys Eckhart Tolle and I honed the ego part of me that felt hurt by someone else's hatred. I remembered again and again the divinity of my being and I let go.

I look at the woman I am today and the girl I was twenty years ago and I realize.... I have kept this promise. More often than not, I am in integrity with this promise.

I don't just talk about love. I live it. I don't wax eloquence about kindness.... I offer it. I am no longer held sway to the dynamics of others. I honor my health and my recovery first.

And there is peace in my life. My relationships are blessed. My communion with this special man is effortless and vibrantly alive. There is no drama or chaos that churns in the air around me.

I can sit in the stillness and let the touch of divine radiate within me. I promised myself that I would!

Tags: Love, Promise, Accountability, Growth, Peace, Relationships

Blossom of Love

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 23:00:27 GMT

I think of it in terms of the time before freedom graced my path and the time after my soul had emerged in radiant freedom. That precise moment....

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin

My heart cracked open and I found the redemption needed to free my soul. I allowed my ego to die and simply unfurled a heart unafraid to love, experience, grow, live and be seen. In the fullness of that moment of awakening, I slipped into the quiet of my home and I wrote my book. I birthed the greatest honor I've ever known; a clear reflection of what I value.

My book holds fifty chapters. As each chapter formed it became the fire that further tempered my being. It is all well and good to believe something and to hold values, but those are simply words without meaning if you do not live in the integrity of them. So, I held myself out to measure my integrity with my values. It is the single most vital gift I could have ever conceived of. I purified.

I had spent the better part of the year committing to the utter baring of my soul. To offer the truth of me to the people I stumble across. I believe it was all to prepare me for the miracle of my task. And I blossomed.

And then.... I went to the movies. And I found myself in yearning, tears, laughter and a welling of hope. For I had seen.... HAPPY FEET.

Best movie I've seen to date. I love the entreaty to show up, be who you are and simply have that be the most incredible gift. I loved the idea that there was someone "out there" that held appreciation for the song I have to share.... (or the happy feet... or the quirkiness).

Truth is.... I have my own way of dancing in the world. I love how I show up. I delight in who I am. I am very comfortable with the integrity I live my life with. I honor those around me. I live the fifty chapters that I wrote. Now, it was time to share them!

I did a little traveling and in the course of my journey, I found a recorded PBS special of Wayne Dyer. I watched. I listened. And then I met Immaculee Ilibagiza. She is a Rwandan genocide survivor and has written a book called "LEFT TO TELL". I wanted to read the book. Desperately!

I got back home and collected the book from my library. Never have I wept and held hope so strongly as through this book. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest it. And in the book, I found the following:

"I didn't want to give God a deadline, but having placed no restrictions on race, nationality or color - and considering that there were more than 5 billion people on the planet - I figured that six months would be a reasonable amounto fo time to wait for the Lord to send me my soulmate" ~ Immaculee Ilibagiza

She goes on to say that the one condition be that she have someone that shared the foundation of faith she held. I remember the day that I read this quite clearly. I was fully willing to surrender all expectations and honor the guidance from source. Radical, unconditional, total trust. I prayed. My one condition be that there be compatibility in spiritual faith and the willingness to grow. I knew I needed a man capable of being accountable to his life.

I had no doubt that my prayers were going to be answered. None. (what a gift from the questing of a year ago!!!) I went to work and received an email from beliefnet and while I love what they offer I was so tired of endless emails. So I requested to be off their list and immediately received another one. I opened it.... Fully prepared to be irked. It said "Join Eharmony" It talked about their personality test and matching people with similar values.

I have NO clue what possessed me. I joined for one month and one month only. It was my gesture to the Universe that I offered total surrender and a faith that he was out there. I took their test. I didn't answer the way I wished to be seen.... I was boldly, utterly, wholly honest. It mattered that I be matched to ME, not to Jillie Wannabe.

Then the matches started coming. My goodness. And then more. And by day two I was besieged and created my own method for filtering. At first I would go through each one carefully. People who are projecting, playing games, or capable of emotionally crippling sabotage talk a good game, but they always give themselves away in the wording.

So, I initially filtered according to a serious search for statements that made me pause. Things that were less based on a desire to be open and share a life and more on healing a loneliness or a wounded part of being. Well, that took too long. I discovered that I could easily filter out the game players by the people that answered the last question in a certain way.

And that was.... "What does your best friend know about you that others may not?" Every single twit that said "I don't know WINK WINK become my best friend and find out. NUDGE NUDGE" I deleted. Immediately.

I found one that had a nice answer. I moved to the next question. "What is the last book that you read and loved". Naturally, my profile had "LEFT TO TELL" by Immaculee Ilibagiza. It was that book which spurred the moment for me to listen to the signs and the invitations and join Eharmony in the first place. It was time to find out if we would read the same books..... This is what he said:

The last book I read was "Left to Tell" which is a true account of one Rwandan woman's story of survival during the massacre of many Rwandans during the mid-1990s; it's an amazing story of resilience and a testament to the power to forgive in the face of such evil...

I KNOW! Stopped me in my tracks. I went back to the top of the profile and slowly worked my way down. I thought, "I'm responding to this one".

There are moments in time when I have an astute sense of the brilliant. I listen with my heart. I answer with my soul. This was such a day. Such a moment. And yet..... I was simply trusting. No expectations. Just honoring the next step.

And in this mindful walk with a soul so gorgeous he leaves me breathless.... I discovered a greater brilliance in the Divine. I have found a man that is able to show up and stand with a heart unguarded. Who is honored in the sharing of who I am and who honors me by fully sharing himself with me.

Yes, there was a moment early on when I giggled at his dedication to William Shatner and the Simpson references that may pepper his offering. But, when no Trekkie suits were forthcoming, and the endearing expectation I built up over waiting for the Shatner/Simpson connection to appear...... well, I knew I was good and hooked.

I have had more relationships and friendships than I can count where the person I am trying to connect to wants to box their life up and keep things hidden and secret. In short.... That person does not want to honor the connection. I was truly tired of the game and the destruction inherehent in choosing to live that way. It was many years of unfolding and letting go of that type of magnetic draw to someone who would hide, or that I would hide from.

I have been beckoned to be a vital part of this sweet soul's life. He shares with me the details that thread through his day. He honors my presence by being present himself. Nothing hidden. He honors me as I am and he blesses me as he is. I swear we are the two funniest people on the planet!

I celebrate how effortless this all is. How simple it is to spend hours gazing into each others eyes and delight in not only what we see, but that we are seen. There is no separation between my connection to the Divine and his connection to source. The presence of that mighty power is vibrantly alive between us.

I loved my life and I was truly happy before I met him. I have no desire to have someone fill my life with meaning or let me feel like I am a better person for having known him. I simply wish to share who I am. I love myself. I simply wish to honor who he is. I love him.

I am at peace and content with our relationship. I delight in the simple moments between us. I giggle to myself over the joined laughter that creates it's own music.

I want to honor this blessing. I want to acknowledge this beautiful man and celebrate how full my heart is. (I also want to respect his privacy, so I will simply call him my "honey").

He has an incredible heart and does service to others. He walks his talk. He has become addicted to Babylon 5 thanks to his girlfriend's personal attachment to the GREATEST SHOW EVER CREATED!!!!!

He has introduced me to the Daily Show, and I've formed a similar attachment!

As we've honored the blossom of our relationship I have found that his views on the fifty topics of my book (fifty values).... He is in line with each and every single one of them.

He knocks my socks off and makes my heart sing.... And I thought I would simply share the awe and beauty of it all with you!

Tags: love, spiritual, accountability, communication, honor, romance

Invitation to be Gentle

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 15:30:39 GMT

I invite the gentle in.

I have definitely filled the shoes of "my own worse enemy" at various points in my life. I have played task master. I have invited other people into my heart and space to beat up on me and offer their emotionally abusive best..... and it isn't until there is a surrender inside of me and an offering to the gentle, that I have found the space to crack open and grow.

None of which is to say that I lack accountability. There is a stark difference between accountability and truth and beating up. I used to have a friend that would floor me when he said "don't beat up on me". It took a while for me to understand the projection in that statement. I would think "He's the one that is angry and hurtful...." and then one day I had this light bulb moment. He'd not understood the gentle.

I'm not sure a great many folks do. Gentle is not an invitation to disown personal responsibility. It is not the turning of the back on obligations. It is never a blatant "get out of jail free" card for our actions. The gentle is an invitation to be wrong. To sit in discomfort. To honor what truly is without judgment.

The difference between discernment and judgment is emotional health. When we are honoring and responding from an emotionally healthy place, we have discernment. When we are reacting from a wounded being, it rapidly becomes judgment. Self-judgment and judgment on others.

I've found that the people who run away in life (and haven't we all at one time or another) are wholly unwiling to be accountable to how they choose to behave. It is a misunderstanding of who they are. Inviting the gentle, requires accountability. It stills the running feet. It honors the truth of our being and holds our behavior to inspection through the gentle heart of truth.

The gentle holds discernment. When I am gentle with myself, I can continue to see the patterns and the behaviors that require some growth and evolution. It is a reflection of my behavior and not a sum total of my worth. I unfold change in gentle steps.

When I am tired or sick, the gentle invitation honors my need to care for myself.

When I am having a problem with another human being, the gentle holds me still so that I might honor introspection and see what contribution I hold in the matter. The need to be "right" can never exist within the gentling of a soul. There is no right.

I invite the gentle in. I treat the people in my life with a gentleness. I honor myself by caring for my needs gently. I find this precious quality is held in the hand of the Divine and I invite that in hour by hour.

I invite!

Tags: love, accountability, gentle, spiritual, life, judgment, discernment.

Open Hearted Compassion

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 01:47:27 GMT

Only in an open, nonjudgmental space can we acknowledge what we are feeling. Only in an open space where we're not all caught up in our own version of reality can we see and hear and feel who others really are, which allows us to be with them and communicate with them properly. ~ Pema Chodron

The first time I had read this, I was in agreement. The second time I read this I was in disagreement. This time I see a broader picture and I am back in agreement. The first time I read this was shortly before I met someone that was to become my best friend. I was loved by this person and agreed that the space of being accepted allowed me a greater freedom to understand and express my feelings. It allowed me a greater vision.

When this beautiful soul went down a relationship path of sabotage and judgment, I remember re-reading this book. I disagreed with what Pema had said. I still knew what I was feeling and was still stepping up and being who I am. Had nothing to do with my friend.

Months after my friend trashed our friendship, I stumble across this statement once again and I am struck with the obvious. That open, nonjudgmental space comes from me and within me. Staying very open, even in the midst of tremendous pain and loss, offers a greater compassion, love and opportunity for growth. And it extends from me outward.

I found myself coming back time and time again~ that Shenpa that Pema Chodron talks about. Touching the wound. Time and time again. I truly didn’t and don’t understand why or what happened with this friend whom I love. I was hurt. Then I was angry. Then I was grieving. Then I was outraged. I spent a good month with the Shenpa of disbelief that my best friend would have stepped so far out of integrity with what had been said versus what was done.

And in the moment of honoring my feelings without judging myself or my friend, I found peace. I found compassion. I let go.

It is amazing and wonderful when, in relationships, the reverence for each other is present. I have another friend who offers a space of non-judgment and it adorns my space of non-judgment so wonderfully. My boyfriend is exquisite in his ability to be present and expressive and accountable to his emotions, and still my ability to honor the same is dependent on me having that open and non-judgmental space within myself.

I’m finding that a willingness to bare my soul to the honesty of my feelings without a judgment of how that needs to look…… honors all around me. And when there is hurt and grief and discomfort of standing inside a place of not knowing why something happened….. I can stay rooted, content with my life and at peace with how it unfolds for me.

And the longer and more fully I honor my feelings without judgment, the fewer moments I find myself wrestling with shenpa.

Tags: shenpa, peace, compassion, love

Honoring the Journey

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 03:48:30 GMT

This picture is my artwork. It is a prayer drawing for Determination.

Just shy of two years ago I was sitting on the couch with my friend, Tom. He's an amazing man and full of gumption and courage. He holds his dreams out and the resolutely steps his way toward them.

We were talking about the realization of his musical dreams ( check him out - http://www.tomfullermusic.com/ ) And he said that he'd received some jealous comments about his success. I'll never forget the following moments. He said "Jill, you've watched me do this. It isn't luck. It isn't magical thinking. I put one step in front of the other and I don't give up. People who realize their dreams are just the ones who do not give up. One step at a time."

I knew that. But, I was witnessing it, and there is a difference. I talked to him about my dreams. My artwork. My writing. My astrology. His enthusiasm was a wonderful spark to me. I started taking my steps seriously.

I have stepped my way toward completing the writing on my book, finishing one edit and most of the artwork that is needed for the book (fifty pieces - with 42 done). I am stepping forward on the road to a literary agent. AND... I am also able to hold this dream out without holding onto it. But that isn't the coolest part.

In writing my book, I have had to look myself in the eye and continually check my integrity against the message in my book. I wrote fifty chapters wrapped tight in what I value. My greatest gift in all of this has been the opportunity to really assess where I am at and where I have room to grow. I've also been astonished at the sheer amount of growth I have accomplished. I am a courageous being!

I was sharing something with my boyfriend the other night and he spoke to my ability to be open. I do not section off portions of my life. Those that are close to me know what is going on. It hasn't always been that way. When I guarded my heart and I lived in a fearful place, I kept things sectioned off. I didn't want people getting too close - too intimate. It was a very gifted and wily way of running away without looking like I was doing it. The other thing I did a lot of was to be the "caring" person that other people told their problems to. It created the illusion of being a loving and intimate person, when I was still hiding.

I baby stepped my way through that growth and I am finding myself capable of tremendous acts of heart open intimacy. At one point it took courage that I didn't believe I had. Now, it is an effortless extension of the spark of Divine that is held inside me.

I am so grateful for the steps my wonderful book have afforded me. I have grown more in the last year than in a decade combined. The life I live is so full of joy and wondrous surrender to the greater love. I trust. I celebrate. I radiate the truth of my values.

I've noticed that those people afraid of facing themselves are stepping away from me. Those who are in bloom, are stepping closer. My heart is soaring. My relationships are effortless and joyful. I laugh. I sing. I stretch. I love.

Tags: accountability, love, faith, spiritual, writing, dreams

Happy to be home - Excited for the future

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 12:11:23 GMT

We wrapped up the workshop on the mountain top in California and I began my journey home.

Amid the duties of my job, I found some moments on the mountain top to finish a couple more prayer drawings and fully edit my book. and then I came back and asked of the Divine.... "What would you have me do next?"

And then I got an email I had been hoping for. I have the next step in front of me and what I am realizing is I am comfortable with it. It was a huge stretch for me over the summer, and yet I feel the growth I've done since them because putting myself out in the next step of my dreams is a doable step for me.

I find that I believe in myself without question and I believe in my writing and my artwork.

Tags: hope, accountability, dreams